If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
or.....look it up an any number of encyclopedias!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! or....if you were lucky, hope you could pick it up on your new "transistor" radio...WHA HOO...A.M. only!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had 8 track tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone and get stuck in the deck rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig? Groovy
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it! and....then you had to "dial" it all over again....
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are. little assholes....
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! and.....if you had a party line....ANY nebchit could eaves drop on your call...
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had PONG....thats right pong...and awful game that left white marks on the "black and white" tv you had....you know the 20" one that got 8 channels ( if you could possibly get the rabbit ears just right) and sat on a stupid wire framed rolling contraption with a wire shelf for the TV guide ( we'll get to the TV guide later ) ....if you were lucky, you had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort let alone air conditioning . And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats or seat belts!!! - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly,that is if she didn't have a lit cigarette in that hand and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in the 1960's or 1970 's or any time before! LETS GET REAL YA LITTLE TARDS!...we suffered for YOU.....thats right, it was our suffering that made it so nice for you....you owe us big time!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd
Author
Topic: If you are 40 (Read 1239 times)